Remembering

Today I attended a memorial celebration for one of my college roommates, Mellissa. After bravely battling cancer for 18 months, she passed away on New Year's Eve. She left behind a husband, two step-children, and loads of family and friends across the U.S. I hadn't seen her in many years; she had moved to Seattle but we managed to keep in touch. Mellissa was part of our 'family' of six color guard girls. We were all inseparable through college and managed to remain friends through the past 17 years. Sure, we've all had our ups and downs, and gone through our life stages at different times or on different coasts. But somehow the six of us have managed to keep up contact over the years, going to weddings, celebrating new babies, and checking in along the way. Mellissa's passing was sudden and sad and a vivid reminder that, even at age 36, cancer can be a temperamental and illogical disease.

And so today we went up to Northern Virginia to celebrate her life, most appropriately, with lots of alcohol, good food, and lots of family and friends. Four of our 'family' went together (the fifth just had a baby). We laughed, we cried, but most importantly, we remembered. We may only see each other a few times a year, but when we're together we are 21 again. The family of six is now a family of five. We've lost one of our own, but she will always be fresh in our memories when we are together.

As it often happens, death forces you to look at your own life. What better way to honor Mellissa's smile, her laugh, her sense of humor, than to cherish the happy memories with our own families. We have five husbands and nine children between us now. And with all five of us within 90 miles of each other, we can look forward to continued friendship and laughter through many more years. It was such a blessing to share the day with them today, and I'm reminded how rare and precious true friends are. Driving down the street to my house on the way home, this song came on the radio. I had never really listened to the words before but was struck by them on this particular day. It's called "I Lived" by One Republic.  Mellissa definitely lived.

Hope when you take that jump 

You don't fear the fall

Hope when the water rises

You build a wall

Hope when the crowd screams out

They're screaming your name

Hope if everybody runs

You choose to stay

Hope that you fall in love

And it hurts so bad

The only way you can know

Is give it all you have

And I hope that you don't suffer

But take the pain

Hope when the moment comes

You'll say...

I, I did it all

I, I did it all

I owned every second

That this world could give

I saw so many places

The things that I did

Yeah, with every broken bone

I swear I lived

Hope that you spend your days 

But they all add up

And when that sun goes down

Hope you raise your cup

I wish that I could witness

All your joy and all your pain

But until my moment comes

I'll say...

I, I did it all

I, I did it all

I owned every second

That this world could give

I saw so many places

The things that I did

Yeah, with every broken bone

I swear I lived