What I Want for Valentine's Day

I will preface this post with saying that Valentine's Day is a stupid holiday. I think it started out okay - a special day to show people that you love them. Except then, like most holidays, Hallmark got ahold of it and turned it into a chocolate-eating, flower-sniffing, pink-and-red-heart-obsessing, let's-think-of-more-ways-to-spend-money kind of day. I'm happy to take the opportunity to tell my family and friends that I care about them. It's an excuse to spend the day doing nice things for people. I don't have a problem with that in theory. But too many people take it to the extreme.Thankfully my DH shares my opinion on this holiday. We spent the first few years together spending a stupid amount of money on a mediocre meal with poor service because we went out on the same night as everyone else. So we have spent the past several years just enjoying dinner out (usually a week before or week after V-Day) and giving each other inappropriately funny sentimental cards. We don't do gifts. But this year, instead of dinner and a card, I'm providing my family with a complete and detailed list of how they can show me I'm loved on Valentine's Day. 

1. To Parker, my darling little boy - Please let me eat all of my pop-tarts for breakfast without you sneaking over and stealing pieces of them. I know you love pop-tarts. You can have your own - you don't have to eat mine. And while we're at it - the water in my bottle tastes exactly the same as the water in your bottle. You wonder why we keep passing a cold around the whole family? Please let me enjoy my own water bottle on Valentine's Day. 

2. To Ainsley, my bubbly attention-craving daughter - As much as I love watching you and listening to you, I think on Valentine's Day you can tell me a story just two times instead of the usual five times. I really did hear you the first time. 

3. To my DH - It would be totally awesome if you would continue to send me messages like this before I come home. It helps me mentally prepare for the battle-zone. 

4. To Dixie, my lovable-yet-slightly-stupid dog - When food spills on the floor it would be incredibly kind of you to clean it up. You live in a house with two children and you spend a good deal of time sitting under the kitchen table. I'm not quite sure what you're doing when you are under there, but you are clearly not cleaning crumbs off the floor. You need to earn your keep. I am not spending Valentine's Day vacuuming cereal off the floor again. 

5. To the person who built my house - if you could find a way to get rid of things like this I would greatly appreciate it. You have no idea how much stress this causes me on a daily basis. Also I've lived in the house for 18 months and I'm still not sure what one of the switches does. I would like to avoid dealing with this on Valentine's Day. 

6. To both of my imaginative children - I do so appreciate when you try to let me continue sleeping on the weekend. However please remember that Parker's bedroom is directly above mine. If you are going to pretend to be elephants or cowboys or have a dance party on Valentine's Day, it might be best to play in Ainsley's room instead. Or the basement. Or outside. Even down the street would be fine...

7. To my family - in addition to the things mentioned above, the best way I can think to celebrate Valentine's Day is for us all to go to Waffle House for breakfast to visit our favorite waitstaff; followed by a day of fun and play outside (without whining or fighting); long naps in the afternoon for the whole family; and a yummy dinner that I don't have to cook myself. And yes... maybe some chocolate too.